It’s been a loving road; it’s been a harsh road. It all needed to happen; it all went wrong. The good part comes now; the most difficult part of it all has arrived. This is the journey, and it’s all mine. I have no one to hear me out, no one to console me. This is the turning point. I choose to unmask her. The blame, the shame, the guilt, the hatred and pain. Dissecting it all will be my chance. This is where I take a look at her - no more turning to them to seek answers. No more relying on them for love and acceptance.
It will be hard, already is. This is the point of no return, the standstill phase, the moment of truth. What is she made of? Is she for real? There is no one to blame, no one to turn to, no one to run to, no loving arms to deny it all. Knowing her faults, knowing her excuses, knowing the lies she tells herself will be the cure. I already see it - what she did to make them all run. Pretending she’s not hurt, pretending it’s all ok.
This is it -- the moment, the infamous moment from all this time… not moving forward, not moving back. Standstill, they say… listen to you heart. But the heart is broken; it’s all her fault. It’s time to see it for what it’s been. Unveil the hurt, feel the pain. Understand the choices, wrong and well.
Terrified, fearful, timid, angry, hurt. Not a good combination, but the only one necessary for the cleanse. The tears are flowing, the stomach’s hollow, the heart keeps pounding, with dizzy head. The void takes over, I cannot move. I am about to unleash the rage and let it all loose.
What if I hate her, what if I see that the truth is more than I cared to believe? There is no choice - it has been made. The fear will subside after I finally meet her again.
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