The Homicide of a Friendship | When A Friendship Dies

A brutal text that did not make sense, making demands and claims of your whereabouts with anger and disrespect. The pain present, but you ask yourself… after the time spent, the love given, the support always provided, aren’t you at least owed the respect and opportunity to ask a question? Is your friendship so insignificant that a conversation is not even possible? When you lose a friend, ask yourself… did you try asking questions? Did you try to make contact to talk about what happened? Was your opinion valued or even heard? Was the issue even addressed or was it ignored, hoping that it would just go away? Were you treated with honor, as the boasting always went? Were you given the opportunity to talk or were you just dismissed like a piece of shit? The ones that know and love me know I will speak my mind, but you are free to speak yours. The ones that respect me, will speak their mind with respect and without insults, and know to give the same space you ask of me. That is what I ask. In fact, that is what I demand. It may seem ridiculous to so many… but those who know and respect me understand that that the love I give comes with the utmost respect. I make demands of you because I automatically demand it of myself. Yes, you will hear me out – if I am not given the opportunity to speak or to resolve an issue, that is your karma. I cannot make you hear me out and I cannot understand you if you will dismiss me. But know I have no respect for someone that speaks out their mind and cuts me out before I have the opportunity to speak mine. If I try to find out in love and in respect what went on and the door is shut, I walk away. The situation and the treatment was childish, full of ignorance, disrespect, hurt and most of all arrogance. No, not pride… arrogance. The difference is huge. It is painful to lose a friend like this – but at some point, you have to let it go. Especially when the pattern is the same. Conversations ignored, coming back like nothing ever happened. Take it! You are my punching bag! I can always download all my anger, fears and sadness on you… That is the message. No more. I am more than just an ear to listen to all the problems. I can offer more than just a shoulder to cry on. I can make you laugh, I can share a beautiful day with you. I can motivate, I can also receive lots of love. I can handle respect; I can handle intelligence of heart and mind. I can tolerate a fall, but I cannot tolerate to be treated in a demeaning manner. I can handle honesty; I welcome sincerity and can even handle some stern words if you must speak them. I can handle stubbornness and I can handle force of character because I am all these things and more. I can tolerate and I can stand a lot because I can give a lot. If I am not given the opportunity to be me and speak my mind and I must always be wrong and must always be in the dark and take all in silence, you kill my friendship. You kill my heart. My door is open to have a conversation, but I will not be ignored like I don’t matter; like my friendship is something you can step on. Remember who I am, but most of all remember I am only a reflection of what you are in what you see in me. I did not like what I saw, so I must correct that in myself. This is the first step. If I don’t matter enough to address it; please be on your merry way.